You likely heard that Massachusetts is finally considering an anti-bullying law. It’s about time!

My kids have both been bullied over the years…have yours? It is one of the most challenging situations to handle in all of parenting and the dramatic increase in technology among today’s kids and teens and made bullying via technology a contributing factor. 25% of kids being bullied is too many already. 42% of kids being cyber-bullied is unthinkable…but is the estimated number being victimized via technology.

The impact of bullying on my kids lives wasn’t readily evident until I asked my 12 year old some questions for a book I was working on. I asked her the following question: “What are the biggest threats to your childhood today?” I had asked that to her older sister, almost 16, and heard answers such as too much homework, not enough time for friends and family, too much use of technology, too much pressure. My 12 year old turned to me and said “Bullies. I was bullied and it took something from me. It could happen again, you know.”

Of my two girls, she had the worst of the bullying and one of the situations was recent. We had thought she had “dealt with it” but clearly it was still plaguing her…she was almost carrying it around like a permanent tattoo, just under the skin, out of site, but palpable.

What we fail to realize as parents it that kids don’t categorize situations as we do. Situations we view as “not bad” or “mild” are still incredibly painful. In fact, in the case of bullying, all bullying hurts and its extremely challenging to categorize it. We can look back after the fact in some cases, such as the tragic suicide death of Phoebe Phoenix of South Hadley High School in South Hadley, Massachusetts, and recognize how intense that was with nothing being done.  However, all bullying is intense and does escalate. That means that we have to pay attention to each and every report of bullying and stop it before it gets to the point of no return for the victim and before they feel so helpless that he or she reaches for some extreme cry for help, as Phoebe did. Those extreme cries for help mean that the system and adults within that system have let that child down and failed to protect that child.

Massachusetts passing an anti-bullying law is an important measure but will mean nothing if schools and communities don’t do better in listening to children and protecting them when they turn to a trusted adult and say “I need help…I’ve been bullied”.

Bullying is a violent act. It’s time we take a stand for all our kids and simply say “No more! This ends today.”

Technical Names: Allergic Rhinitis

Nicknames: Hayfever, Allergies

What it is: allergic reaction to something in the environment such as pollen, dust, molds, animal hai. It is an overreaction of the immune system – a “normal” reaction on overload. People can grow in and out of allergies throughout their lives. Genetics determines some predisposition but environmental factors can also overload the immune system.

Seasonal Issues:

Many people have season allergies particularly around season change times. Some people are allergen specific and others have year ’round allergies.

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One of the situations I found most challenging working in emergency rooms and urgent care settings was when a teen came in for “medical clearance”. This phrase is code for “a teen in an emotional crisis who may need be having a major psychiatric issue…or not.” My job was look into any possible medical issues of the mood changes and then to call the on-call psychiatric crisis team in for the remainder of the evaluation, if needed…which was the majority of the time.

I recall one 17 year old teenager who had threatened to commit suicide earlier that day.  I remember being struck by two observations: how sad she appeared and how “normal” her family was by all standards. They were basically like any of our neighbors.

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While our government leaders are busy debate “health reform”, I often get the sense they forget that most of us have medical needs now that need to get addressed in today’s very broken system. Our medical needs and those of our kids are actually blind and deaf to their discussions because they just wanted to get addressed – today.

While today’s system is far from perfect, there is still a lot we can do to get the care we need. Instead of blindly accepting the system as is, we can become more empowered and partner with our physicians as advocates of our own health care, and those of our loved ones such as our kids. This means speaking up when we have questions and becoming more health literate. This also means working with our physicians to be sure the treatment we receive works for our lives. To accomplish this, we may have to seek more than one opinion on a health matter, and that’s not only ok to do but possible even in today’s chaotic health climate.

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